Warning: those who ignore it will pay 12 years of bad luck

Standing in their cozy living room, Mark, in his grey t-shirt, is practically grunting as he supports the full, considerable weight of his daughter. Lily, massive and overflowing her bright yellow cloud-print onesie, is a soft avalanche of pure,dense chubbiness. Her cheeks press against his, making him look tiny. While she is asleep, her bulk is clearly putting Mark through his paces, and he looks out at the camera with wide, slightly overwhelmed, but fiercely loving eyes. His biceps are fully flexed, struggling against gravity.

He began his slow bounce, chanting the same quiet melody he used every night. The floorboards groaned in sympathy with every step. "You’re just our little planet, aren't you?" he whispered, his own chin tucked into the endless cascade of her neck rolls. "You’ve got your own gravitational pull."

Sarah watched from the doorway, camera in hand, trying to balance the immense humor of the sight with genuine awe.Lily looked less like a baby and more like a friendly, sleeping boulder in an outfit she had long ago outgrown.

As they finally placed her into her heavily reinforced crib (which had required extra support beams), Mark collapsed onto the couch.

"My arms are actually shaking," he admitted, flexing his trembling biceps. "It's like lifting a full sack of concrete every night."

Sarah sat beside him, reviewing the photo on her phone. "Look at this picture, Mark. Your eyes. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, and the ghost weighs fifty pounds." She paused. "I think you’ve accidentally become a professional weightlifter."

Mark looked at the photo. The juxtaposition was undeniable: the large, sturdy man looking dwarfed and strained by the impossibly oversized, squishy infant.

"She is growing faster than physics should allow," Mark mused, nursing his sore muscles. "I saw a story about an ancient kingdom where the queen was chosen by her ability to lift the largest calf over her head every day as it grew." He pointed to the sleeping child. "I think this is my final challenge. I’m going to have maximum strength just in time for her to turn one."

They laughed quietly, knowing that whatever the reason for her sudden, miraculous bigness, they would adjust. They would just need to invest in a stronger coffee table, reinforce the crib a bit more, and maybe, for Mark, a weight belt.